That’s a very interesting chapter today. One of the last… Everything looks so different now, but you can find some names you already know here anyway!
Enjoy!
***
12th February 2015
Dear Diary,
You’ll never guess how it all looks now… Joe is still desperate. But he doesn’t know that Alice is not just a runaway but dead… The police are looking for the perpetrator of her death. Yep, it was discovered that it was a murder. Someone saw me. Heck… If Joe finds out, I’ll be DEAD… I’m done then. I will lose my chance…
Well, I try to comfort the boy somehow. Unfortunately, his walls are still standing tall… And I got a little dramatic recently. We were talking, and it was even fine. Then the opportunity arose, and I kissed him. My next step was moving to his lap. He was too stunned to do anything… Unfortunately, he suddenly noticed a heart necklace around my neck. He said he had given her one similar to this before. Tears immediately showed up in his eyes, and guess what…? He escaped! He ran away to cry alone… If I only hadn’t taken that necklace from her, then… Yep, that’s the same one that Alice had gotten from Joe and was wearing the day she died. It’s my own fault… Eh, whatever… I will keep on trying anyway!
Now listen to the story related to Chicago…
*
It was 9th February. It was time to say goodbye to Sindy, Brian, my family, and the city where I was born. The last meeting took place at the airport, just like it was with Joe and the Silver Trills before, but the main difference is that I didn’t go on the journey alone – Jack was with me. It wasn’t a breakup, but the beginning of something completely new and unknown…
I had to go back to the demanding work of an actress, but this time on a new film… Hometown was shot in a different city, so for the first time in my life, I had to leave my family home in Los Angeles and move to Chicago. I was a little terrified by this perspective, but I think it was good for me, and I’ve already been an adult then. I mean it’s been just a few days since my birthday, but whatever!
Our dressing rooms turned out to be trailers because we were shooting almost exclusively in the open air. It was something completely different from the studio and recording the show. One of the main differences was also the script. The whole script was sent earlier to learn, and it happened already in January, so I had a month to learn my lines. Of course, it started with a hearing back in December. It was different than the audition for the show because I didn’t meet either Jack or Eve then. The girl was happy when she saw me for the first time in our future apartment. I mean… I got a text with the address from the production, and it turned out that the girl was going to be my roommate. Yep. We’ve met before. This is the same Eve who previously starred in the movie with Joe! How small this world is… I must admit that I was relieved too. The old jealousy no longer mattered to me… And when it comes to Jack, our meeting was “friendly” from the very beginning. He is a very effusive and warm person… People like him quickly make friends, and it was the same with me, I must admit… It started on my birthday, and for the whole two months we were getting to know each other better and better. We finally decided that we would be lovers after two weeks in Chicago, but our romance was short… I will tell you more about it at the end of today’s entry…
The plot of the movie was also something mysterious and different. Lauren, whom I played, returns to her family home in Chicago. Ten years earlier, she left with her parents, and now that they have inherited the house, they return there. Lauren meets an old friend from elementary school and her boyfriend (Natalie and Michael). After some time, a secret romance begins between them (Lauren and Michael). The second important thread of this film is learning about the secrets of this intriguing house. In addition, these three young people started studying at the university. They all turn out to be students of American studies…
Now listen, diary, how the first day of work on set looked…
*
It was already the 10th of February. I was sitting in my dressing room and checking messages on my phone. I had already heard about Alice’s grandfather’s death, but I hadn’t known anything about Joe’s arrival yet. That’s why they didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day…
Anyways… I love reading fan messages. This is also how I got to know Alice… I always answer the most interesting ones, whenever I have time, of course.
After I replied to the last message for that day, I left the room and bumped into Jack. He had his eyes glued to his phone like me a moment ago, and he was standing in front of my door, so no wonder that we crushed into each other… He got so scared by the hit of the door that he dropped the device, and it shattered. The battery went out… For a walk!
Jack Blake (funny story; I didn’t get to know his full name right away; his twin brother is Jim Blake, by the way) was my co-star in the film. As a human, he bore a striking resemblance to my beloved Joe, except the fact that Jack is a blond guy with hazel eyes. An actor and musician just like Joe. He also looked like that waiter, I think you know who I’m talking about, diary… I’ve written about all of this before… Twin brothers… But at that moment, it was mainly Joe and our beginning that came to my mind… Well…
– Oh! Sorry! I didn’t know you were standing behind the door! – I started explaining myself.
– And I thought you’d already been on set… Well, whatever… It will start working again soon… I guess… – he squatted and started picking up parts of his phone.
After a while, the device was back in one piece again. I decided to go towards the set, and the blond followed me, still staring at the screen.
– Why are you like that today? You can’t see the world outside of your phone – I decided to ask.
– I’m looking at what fans are writing about my new song – he replied.
– New song? Why don’t I know anything about it…? – I was a bit surprised.
– Didn’t I tell you? Oh, sorry. The song is called Beautiful Tragedy. If you want to, you can listen to it later via the Internet – he said.
– Okay. What are fan reviews?
– Pretty cool…
My reply was prevented by the arrival of my new friend. It was Eve. It’s weird to call her like that, but it’s true… As soon as she saw me, she literally flew up to me, and we were hugging for a while. It’s called greeting with love!
– Have you heard about the new song? – I asked when we stopped hugging.
– Sure! Jack told me. A really nice tune… And such a… Shakespearean lyrics… Well, normally sung poetry!
– Thanks – the blond interjected.
We looked at him. He was still busy on the phone, but he was smiling slightly.
After a moment, Eve continued:
– Well, how do you like it? When it comes to me, I think Jack’s second album promises to be extremely exciting.
– Thanks, Eve. It’s good to have a friend like you – the boy interjected again. He was obviously pleased by her words.
Jack is a 20-year-old who had already released one album and was in the process of preparing the second one right then. He started acting to stand out and promote his music. Previously, he worked as a… Bartender… Anyways, you already know it, diary…
– I’ve just heard about this song because nobody thought of notifying me… – I said, and then I meaningfully looked at the boy. He noticed this and started to defend.
– Oh, I’ve already apologized. I thought I’d already mentioned it on the plane yesterday.
– Okay then – I rolled my eyes.
Maybe he did say something… I don’t remember now… I didn’t remember then either… Maybe I was busy thinking about someone else right then… Joe…
– But seriously. I thought you were the first to know about it – my new friend said.
– Surprise – I said sarcastically.
– No, no. You were the first, then, Eve – Jack interjected.
– Wow! What an honour! – she grabbed her head and smiled kindly.
– That’s exactly what I’m talking about! – he replied with a laugh. – Thanks, Eve. It’s very nice of you… A group hug, maybe? – he asked with hope in his eyes. Of course, we did as he suggested.
– Oh, how nice! Family is complete! Our project promises to be exciting. It’s rare to see such harmony on set on the first day! – the director grew up next to us, sounding a bit dreamy.
We stopped hugging, and the hard work on the first scene began. This woman must have been the sister of that previous director, I think now… She had a similar approach to her work as he did.
*
A week of work passed, and we all became even closer friends than on the first day. It was already Friday. Evening hours. We managed to shoot quite a lot of material by then. Me and the rest of our group were going back to the apartment building. On foot.
Like I said, I moved to Chicago, and Eve happened to be my roommate, but a week later, Jack started spending time with us in our apartment almost all the time, and a ridiculous little threesome came out of it. It just happens that he lived alone, so it’s always nicer to have someone to talk to. But more about it later…
– So, what are we going to do now? We need to celebrate the end of the first week of working together somehow. I really think so – Jack said, and the whole gang, I mean, me and Eve, looked at him. Then we started thinking aloud about it.
– What would you say for a karaoke party? – the black-haired girl suggested after a moment.
Eve is an older girl than me and Joe, her hair is maroon but so dark that it’s almost black, so I’ll be calling her black-haired girl. Her eyes are brown, but they also seem to be almost black. Her complexion is interesting. I guess you could call this a very tanned colour. She said she lives in Miami… It must be why! And when it comes to the age… Yep, again… She’s the same age as Jack.
– I think it’s a cool idea – I said, and Jack backed me up.
– All right. Let’s do it. But now let’s ask the question: where? In your apartment, Jack? – Eve asked.
– What?! Why me? – he was a bit indignant.
– Because you’re the only one here who has music equipment in Chicago – me, the philosopher said. I got it from Joe…
– All right. Let it be… Just tell me what time I shall expect you both – after these words, Jack looked at the watch in his phone. – In an hour? – he looked at us questioningly.
We both agreed and had just gotten to our apartment building. Everyone went to their rooms. I freshened up and changed clothes. I decided to listen to the Silver Trills album and somehow suddenly… I started writing… It was the third time and so far the last… This fragment doesn’t even have a title… Let’s call it Untitled Poem then…
I’m standing stronger now, yeah, I’m stronger.
But it’s tearing me apart, coz’ you can’t be here now.
I’m asking myself if it’s not only in my mind.
And I know that you’re a bad idea.
But I can’t stop my heart, it’s beating for you.
Just one day has changed everything…
When I finished writing, I heard a knock on the door, and after a while, this mysterious person was sitting next to me. And it was such a blond guy named Jack.
– Can we talk? – he asked uncertainly.
– Sure. Something happened? – I asked, worried, and then I put the piece of paper with the poem into the drawer.
– It’s about our roles… Because we must play lovers, and I don’t want you to feel awkward about it.
– You have no reason to worry. It’s okay – I said, smiling slightly, and he reciprocated it.
– And… The fact that your boyfriend just dumped you isn’t embarrassing? – he asked after a moment with a little fear in his eyes.
– It’s in the past and it doesn’t matter… We must be professional and focus on our work.
– Well, if you think so… – his words were followed by a moment of awkward silence.
I was admiring my lovely nails, and he was looking at his sneakers… Did I miss him? Joe? I didn’t know right then… But the fact is, we actually started dating a week later… I mean me and Jack… But more about it later…
After a while, I looked at my phone screen. The hour of our party was coming, so I hurried him. We left my room. We entered his apartment, and Jack hooked up speakers and microphones to his laptop. He also put on a CD-ROM from a karaoke game. When he finished fiddling with all that equipment, Eve came into the room.
– Hello, people! So what? Shall we start the fun? – she asked.
– After all, that’s what we’re here for! What kind of queue are we doing? Or something? – I said.
– Maybe duets? Everyone with everyone? – the black-haired girl suggested.
– Ohhh. It will be a wild ride! – the blond said with a laugh. – Girls go first. Pick a song –he pointed to his laptop.
The girl and I walked over to the device, and after some searching, we selected Katy Perry’s song Last Friday Night. Then we performed, and I have to say we blew the system together! The machine counted the points. There were quite a lot of numbers… Then I handed the microphone over to Jack. He sang Taylor Swift’s We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together with Eve. I didn’t expect them to pick this particular piece. I was laughing the whole time because they were fooling around. They were playing lovers. Jack was pretending to be Taylor, who dumped the black-haired girl, and she was pretending to be the indecisive man that the song is about. So fun… Then it was Jack’s and my turn. It went smoothly because we chose the song I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. It was a challenge for both of us, but I think he did it better… When we finished, the machine started counting points. The black-haired girl came over to Jack and me, and we all started staring at the screen like some maniacs.
– Who will win?! Who will win?! – we were shouting all together…
Numbers appeared on the screen.
– What?! Draw?! What the heck?! – we yelled all at once again.
All of us were clearly disappointed. And anyway, it was strange that three extremely different songs were rated the same… I think our game broke down…
– Okay, whatever… So, maybe now we’ll all sing along a little? – Jack asked, taking the guitar in his hands.
– Yes! – we agreed.
– Let’s sing Silver Trills songs. I’m their biggest fan! And we all know them quite well… I’ve been friends with Joe since we were kids. How small this world is! – Jack literally shouted it out, but it was graceful at the same time.
– Yeah! We both played with Joe, but you know… It’s Laura’s ex… You don’t have to remind her… – Eve said.
It was nice to hear such words of comfort and understanding, I must admit.
– This is a really bad argument… Their music is great. Play and don’t mind me – I said.
Jack picked up his guitar and started playing Untouchable. This song literally chases me from the moment it was written… Yep…
After the first few bars, we joined him. You can’t really call it singing, but whatever… The next song was Beautiful Love Song. Silver Trills’ record had just come out then, so we sang this relatively new track… I mean, I hadn’t heard this song before the release…
Suddenly, we heard an insistent knock on the door. Jack put down his instrument and opened it for an elderly woman in a bathrobe.
– Have you guys gone mad?! It’s after 10 P.M. and you’re screaming here! Maybe others would like to rest a bit, huh?! Punks! – the blond straightened and didn’t answer.
The stranger went away eventually, still throwing names out of her mouth. The boy closed the door and gave us a questioning look.
– Okay. Let’s try something else, then – he said in the end.
– Yes. Quieter – Eve said, laughing.
– Shall we watch a movie then? And we’ll make snacks maybe? – I suggested.
Everyone liked my idea. Well… Almost everybody.
– How about watching a concert instead of a movie? It’s a karaoke party in the end, so maybe let’s watch something musical? – Jack’s words.
– It’s a pretty cool idea. Whose concert? – Eve asked.
The blond got up and walked over to his suitcase. He haven’t fully unpacked yet… He took the DVD case out of it and showed it to us proudly. It was a concert from the tour promoting the album Speak Now.
– Seriously? You have a Taylor Swift concert? Since when are you such a big fan of her? – I asked, a little annoyed.
– Since my ex made me listen to her song. Mine – the boy sounded kinda dreamy.
“Yeah… Another romantic… My luck!” – I thought.
– Alright. Turn on this pretty little thing – the black-haired girl urged him.
The delighted blond walked over to the TV and put the disc in the DVD player. I must admit that our rooms were really fancy…
When Jack was busy around the equipment, I was discussing with Eve what snacks we needed.
– Eve and I are going to the grocery store to buy some food. We’ll be back in a few minutes – I told our friend, and then we went to the previously mentioned place.
Peanuts, small croissants, crisps, two juice boxes, and three beers. That’s what we bought. Because why not? It was Friday in the end!
– We’re back! Jack, bring two bowls, a plate, and three glasses, please – I asked the blond after returning to the apartment.
Luckily, he listened to me. I poured food into the dishes and poured juice for each of us. Meanwhile, Jack opened the beers with the bottle opener. After that, we sat comfortably on the couch and started watching the concert. We were balling like this until midnight. And that’s quite how the whole weekend looked.
*
I woke up to the rays of the sun streaming into my bedroom through the window. A new day has come. The world was coming back to life. “Everything will be fine…” – I thought. I spent the weekend with my new friends getting to know each other, and it was fun…
I took the phone in my hands. It was 5 A.M. Monday. “I have to get ready for work, but I don’t want to get up, and no treasure in the world can convince me so…” – that’s all I could think about right then. Despite my reluctance, I decided to put myself together. Fifteen minutes later, I was ready to go. And a strange feeling settled inside of me… “I feel something is going to happen today… Hmm… Interesting…” – I thought.
Ten minutes later, I was on set. I said hello to the director and all co-workers and went to my dressing room. I opened the door and… I noticed a bouquet of red roses on the table. I smiled slightly and came closer. There was a note attached to them, and that’s what I read there:
*
“It doesn’t matter what happens. We broke up, but you’ll always be important to me. You are like a member of my family, and I love family more than anything in the world. You’re like… Tay or mother to me. Remember that you can always count on me.
P.S. Flowers for the beautiful Miss Brown.
~Joe”
*
While reading the entire text twice, I felt such a pleasant warmth in my heart. How good it is to have a friend like this boy… Even though he broke up with me… I couldn’t stop smiling, but I decided to quickly change into my character’s outfit. I had to!
A few minutes later, I was ready. Then I went to the place where we were going to shoot that day, and I had a little chat with Eve and Jack before we started working. I was in an incredibly good mood. I sent a “thank you” message to Joe in the meantime, and he smiled back at me via text. I mean, he sent me an emoji. After that, the director came, and we started recording the next movie scenes.
*
The work went smoothly for us, and it’s already been two weeks, which was a really nice thing. I was sitting in my apartment and… I was thinking. Yep, you see right, diary! I looked at Joe’s bouquet of roses and involuntarily smiled to myself. It’s been a week, but they hadn’t completely died yet…
“How sweet it was. He is the first boy who gave me flowers. Earlier, it was my dad only, but it doesn’t count… Now I see how much our friendship is important to him. Even our not entirely successful relationship hasn’t spoiled anything too much… I remember our beginnings… We didn’t like each other at first. I don’t know how it happened that everything is completely different now than it used to be… I guess we’re just growing up… I remember dreaming of Joe and Sindy when I fell asleep in the waiting room before the casting. Today I want to laugh about it. That water on the pants. Hah… I’m glad I got that role. It totally changed my life. I’m not the same classic shy girl anymore. Ah… Now my life is perfect…” – that’s how my thoughts sounded that day and were interrupted by a knock on the door.
– Come in! – I shouted, but the guest didn’t enter the room; they only knocked again, so I had to get up from the couch and open the door for the newcomer. What I saw totally shocked me. – Camille?! What are you doing here?!
– Hi. The last time I saw you, you introduced me to Joe, told me about the show, and now I know it’s all over! The relationship and the show! And I found out from social media that you’re shooting a new movie in Chicago. Seriously, everyone is talking about it! So, I decided to visit you since you didn’t remember to personally inform an old friend about it – she said, smiling. And she was speaking extremely fast.
She was wearing a leopard coat, beret, and high-heeled boots. She looked like a star!
– Okay. It’s nice of you. But… Maybe come in – I invited the girl inside. We were sitting comfortably on the couch soon after. – Does your mother know you’re here?
Let me remind you that Camille lives in Miami. Together with her mother, she started a fashion business. My old friend is perfect for this role, I must admit!
– No. She doesn’t need to know – Camille kept smiling. She has such a positive energy…
– Are you here especially for me? – I asked, totally surprised.
– Of course! Shall we go shopping later? In the meantime, let’s gossip a little – she suggested.
She was grinning all the time. Holly Molly… Camille is such a positive person that I just have no words for it! Soon after, Eve came to our shared living room, and I introduced them to each other. How similar they seemed to be to me then! Well, soulmates normally! And they live in the same city! I heard they hang out more since then… I mean, when Eve came back to Miami…
– Let’s go then! – the blonde squealed with joy while saying it.
She hugged me again, and all three of us left the apartment. We were wandering around shopping malls until late hours. The best part was that we were laughing the whole time. I had a really good time with Camille. The girl is so talkative, but it only does her good. She is just so… Nice. Nothing has changed. And when it comes to Eve… I didn’t like her unnecessarily… “It’s all so good… – that’s how I was thinking about our unobvious friendship at that time.
*
Are you surprised, diary? Well, I succeeded. Heh… I’m friends with Eve even today. You shouldn’t judge people you don’t know. It’s really not worth it… And when it comes to our karaoke night… Ah, Jack is crazy, and he’s so gallant and stuff… And those roses from Joe… I still like to recall that memory… Okay… Never mind…
I wanted to tell you more about Jack now… Camille’s arrival changed everything between us. We became close again, and we decided to give this relationship a chance. It’s kind of weird, but the blond guy seemed jealous because I was spending a lot of time with Eve and Camille, and I didn’t have time for him at all. But at the same time, I realized that I miss male company… It somehow turned out like that… Well… We just became not only a couple, but also lovers. And that’s how it was until the end of filming…
Camille, on the other hand, left after about a week, so she saw with her own eyes how me and Jack became close again… I thought I would forget about Joe and be really happy next to Jack, but it didn’t work out. After we finished our work, we just lost touch. Now I simply don’t know what’s going on with him…
I will quote our last conversation now. The breakup at the restaurant went quite like this:
– I guess we should officially break up… We won’t see each other again, you know that. I want to focus on music, and I’m sure you’ll come up with something too. If you need company, you can always call me. I’ve had the same number for years…
– I guess you’re right that it’s better this way… But I don’t know if you’re not rushing to say never and stuff…?
– I’ll try to call you as often as possible if that’s what you want. I can come to you as before. We can try to keep our relationship going, maybe we can make it, God only knows. But now, we’re going back to LA together, aren’t we?
– Yeah…
We made the agreement like that, and in fact our ways parted as soon as we got home… It was a wild, fiery affair that I’ll never forget, but I never cared about Jack as much as I did for Joe… Maybe that’s why Jack stopped trying…?
*
This is how the chapter called Jack, Eve, and Chicago ends. Later, it all started to spin around Joe, Alice, and I think I lost my mind… I could have found something else to do, and I haven’t done anything since April! Null! I’ve just been chasing a missed opportunity! Or maybe me and Jack would work out and I’d be in a completely different place now…? And first of all, Joe would be happy, and Alice would still be alive…
When it comes to the next entry… You know what I’m going to talk about then? I really don’t know… I think I’ve already said everything… Eh, let’s see what happens then…
Okay, I’m going away from here now. Kisses and until the next time!
P.S. “You can’t fool your heart”.
What Alice meant was that you can’t hide from your heart. It knows all your feelings. You should listen to it, because only heart will lead you to what you really want and need. It knows best…
***
Ah, I remember rewriting it… I took one of the old chapters and decided to make it look like a new thread, a new adventure. I also decided to put it at the very end of my story. This chapter was filling some space because as I said before, the blog version had no ending!
Next week, I will give you the last chapter, the Epilogue, and the Afterword. It’s all very short, so I think it’s best to put the last few pages all in one!
Also, it looks like Laura didn’t like Silver Trills at first, but now she does!!! I will show you the lyrics of those songs later as well.
So, I also recommend checking out my novel here, the collection, and the rest of the store. You can also use the code ‘Summer2025’ to receive a 25% discount for whatever you wish!
That’s all for today. But don’t worry because I’ll be back tomorrow!
Love, A.A.
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