New chapter of my story is here! This time it’s sweet and dramatic, I’m Still Not Getting Over You lyrics appear here and it’s about truth as well. Hollywood can be tricky sometimes!

***

30^th May 2014

Dear Diary,

Two days have passed since the tragedy… But what happened? Alice is in the hospital and she’s in a terrible condition. Surprisingly, she’s awake, but it’s only a matter of time before she falls asleep and never wakes up again… And why is she where she is? I’ll tell you in a minute but maybe let’s slow down and I’ll explain everything step by step…

Rumours have been circulating for a few days that they’re a couple, but it hasn’t been confirmed yet. Joe went out with her and wanted to ask her; you know about what. As they were walking down the street to the hotel, a speeding car bumped into them, but only she was injured. I just found out it wasn’t an accident because the girl behind the wheel was aiming at hurting my Alice. It turns out it was Joe’s fan who was just madly jealous. Why is life so brutal?! I’m still blown away. And what about Joe? Night and day he’s with her, and he doesn’t speak to anyone but her… A few hours ago, I spoke to her, and she asked me to do everything to make Joe happy when she’s gone. She loves his smile… As you can see, she knows that she doesn’t have much time left… No! It cannot end like this! She must be strong! For herself, for Joe, for me, and for everyone who loves her…

Despite everything, I would like to get away from what is happening here right now for a moment, so I’ll tell you the continuation of the story from a year ago…

*

I had been to the cinema with my friend just the day before. In fact, it was more like a date, but however you call it, it was just magical! “Now I’m sure I’ve fallen in love…” – I was thinking all day. I remember those thoughts and feelings very well. Some things are impossible to forget…

It was early in the morning, but I heard someone knocking on the door. And I have a room on the first floor! Reluctantly, I crawled out of bed and ran down the stairs to the front door. Somehow, none of the household members thought about it before me… Who did I see? Such a guy with brown hair.

– Hi, Lau. I see you like butterflies – he looked meaningfully at my pyjamas.

I could at least put a robe on to make it look more decent. Smart little me! I always think when it’s too late!

– Hi. And do you have any problem with that? – I crossed my arms over my chest.

– Of course not. You look cute like that.

– Stop! You’d better tell me why you’re coming here so early.

I blushed. Nice. Even genuinely nice. I had to be a little rude to hide it. It’s just me! What else could I do?!

– You know… I’m leaving today because of tomorrow’s preparations for shooting. Now they must prepare everything, so literally after finishing work on the first season of Friends Dreamers they could start working on the film. Both film crews also must get along with each other. I’m so precious, you see. I’ve thought… Before I disappear maybe you’d go out with me for breakfast.

– Ehmm… I’d love to – I couldn’t help but smile.

– I’m glad.

– Before I go change… I have a question… Why have you been inviting me to various places so often lately?

A single strand of hair fell on my eyes. Watch out! Laura the pirate!

– Because nice girls deserve nice company.

He brushed my hair out of the eye. Did you notice, diary, that he called himself “cool company”? Well, Joe… You think highly of yourself!

We were staring into each other’s eyes for a minute and the brunet began to get dangerously close. When we were only a short distance away from each other’s lips, my dear sister suddenly appeared next to us. Yep…

– Hi, Joe. What brings you here so early? Laura?

– Sam. Don’t you have your own life? – I didn’t let him say a word.

– I just care about you.

– Then just don’t do it when I have guests. Joe, can you wait a minute? I’ll change quickly and we can go.

– Yeah! I’m glad you’ll spare me views!

I looked at her like a murderer. I smiled at the boy and went up the stairs. He sat on the couch in the living room. His arrival caused a stir in the house because just after I left, my parents came out in robes to greet and entertain him. I know this because that’s what I saw when I came back to him.

*

After changing clothes, I went out to have breakfast with Joe. We went to the nice restaurant which luckily was on the same street as my family house. When we finished our coffee, we started talking.

– This is a masterpiece! Not a movie! Dancing, singing, playing the guitar, surfing. Everything I love in one place! – words of an excited boy.

– I can see that you are happy about this role very much.

– Why? Is it written all over my face?

– Yeah, totally it is.

After that, I ruffled his beautiful hair.

– Hey! In a public place?!

– I haven’t done anything illegal! – I showed him the tongue. The boy answered me the same way.

– Like children… – I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and who did I see? Eve… “What is she looking for here?” flashed through my head.

– Oh. Hi, Eve. Nice to see you – I stood up to greet her.

– Hey, Laura.

The girl greeted me with a hug. No comment…

– Did you know we have a flight in half an hour? – she asked Joe.

Brunet quickly looked at his watch and… His face was priceless!

– I’m sorry, Laura, but I gotta go now. See you soon. I’ll call you – he kissed my cheek.

Mmmm… How nice… How warm it got in my stomach then…

– I’ll wait…

…Romeo… That’s what I added in my mind!

After a while, the couple disappeared behind the door… A few minutes later, Joe burst into the room again. He was holding a teddy bear in his hands.

– Lau. I’d like to give you something. I heard you like stuffed animals, so… – he handed it to me. – I hope you’ll remember me.

– Of course, I will.

We were staring at each other for a while with smiles on our lips… I remember that my face started to hurt because of it…

– I really gotta go now.

– See you later. We’re going back to work next week.

Brunet disappeared from my sight… But his smile remained before my eyes…

*

A week passed and silence… No news… And the next day we were supposed to go back to work… “Have you already forgotten about me?!” – I was thinking desperately then.

I sat down at my laptop and started reading the gossip. Blah, blah… Lady Gaga in bacon… Blah, blah… Nothing new… Suddenly I came across a fresh interview with Joe and I decided to listen to it. I had to regret it soon enough because one part of it that saddened and shocked me a bit was as follows:

*

– “Who would you like to go on a date with? Laura or Eve?

– Hmm… I think… Eve.”

*

Involuntarily, I felt tears streaming down my cheeks… “Have you already forgotten about me?!” – I asked myself again.

I turned the device off, sat on the bed, and started to think. It doesn’t make sense… I felt inside that I couldn’t let it all go yet… But his words… It just didn’t add up!

I sat down on the floor and decided to sing something… “I must let emotions come out of me…” – I simply thought. This was the second time when I wrote a song, you know diary?…

*

When I saw you with her

I cannot deny it

It felt so wrong

And I want you to know

I fell on my knees

I was in pieces

But you’re not the finished business

I’m still not getting over you

*

I’m still not getting over you

We can still fix our hearts

Just let me win your game

Cause it’s not over

No matter what

I gotta get ya, get ya again

I gotta get ya, get ya again

I’m still not getting over you

*

Maybe it was just a dream

Maybe it wasn’t real

Maybe it was a mistake, yeah

But what about all those memories?

It doesn’t make sense to me

What am I supposed to do?

Hey-yey, please save me baby

*

I’m still not getting over you

We can still fix our hearts

Just let me win your game

Cause it’s not over

No matter what

I gotta get ya, get ya again

I gotta get ya, get ya again

I’m still not getting over you

*

I just wrote down every word on a piece of paper… I looked at the shelf. There was a teddy bear from Joe… I went to the toy and hugged it so sincerely with all my strength. Then I texted him that he hurt me… I sat down in the corner and started crying piteously… I finally fell asleep in the arms of the fluffy animal…

*

I woke up on the floor and smelled the brunet’s perfume. Strange… I opened my eyes gently and saw his face in front of mine. How the hell did he get here?! I started to cry even uglier than before, and I couldn’t tell why… I couldn’t stop either… The boy hugged me.

– I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…

As you can see, he knew why my reaction was the way it was… He just knew it…

– It was just an interview. It never says the truth. Celebrities say things that people want to hear.

He took my face in his hands.

– I’m begging you, don’t cry.

– Do something. I don’t want to be afraid.

Joe at once put his lips on mine. As if he was waiting for it… For this invitation… And then nothing could separate us… There was no force that could tear us apart when we were this close…

It’s so tragic, so beautiful, so magical, so wonderful, so fearless! My first kiss… True love’s kiss… Oh, Joe… You knew what to do to save me from myself then… And from yourself too. I mean your dark side, my dear friend.

*

Imagine such a scene, diary…

What was I doing? Ah, nothing special. I’m just kissing Joe… It was the most beautiful moment of my life! Brunet grabbed my hand while we were continuing you know what.

Suddenly I heard that someone had invaded our territory…

– Lau, would you like to have a sandwich? – I heard Samantha’s voice.

This one’s timing, man!

Without breaking away from the boy, I used the gesture that suggested that I needed her to go away. I didn’t hear her again, so I guess she “listened” to me. What about me and Joe? We still didn’t have enough! It’s been a year now, and we’re still glued to each other. At least we had peace… For a while…

After a moment, I heard the brunet’s cell phone ringing. Somebody, please throw this stupid phone out the window! Unfortunately, we had to stop making out.

– Rude people! No, wait! I mean, cattle! They can’t even give us a moment of peace!

He got pissed. No wonder… But he finally picked up. It was his… Mother. He left his bags at home (the film was supposed to be shot in Hawaii, but all the preparations were made in New York, so he flew around a bit during this week of separation; anyway, the weather is completely different in those two places in January, so the word bags is key here…) and he immediately came to me without telling anyone that he had already returned. She was just worried about her son, and I really understand it.

The boy approached me as he finished talking to her. I guess you know what his purpose was… He said that only what he has in front of him interests him… My beloved romantic Joe… Ah… After a while, my hands went to his wonderful hair, and he pressed me tightly to him. “I want this moment to last forever! I love cuddling with this man!” – I thought.

After about ten minutes, we stopped hugging and kissing. But I’d rather not… We sat close to each other, and the boy was still hugging me with one arm, and we stayed in this pose without words for about fifteen minutes. It was so good like that … After a while, I heard him saying my name.

– Yes? – I asked, being sure that he wanted to ask me about something.

– No, nothing. I just like saying your name.

Aww. How sweet. I just smiled. I didn’t say it out loud. I bet. In response, I grabbed his shirt with all my strength and laid my head on his chest.

– What are you doing? – he asked surprised.

– I can’t let you go.

– I’m not going anywhere – he kissed me on the forehead. “How I love these butterflies!” – I thought.

After thinking for a while, I asked:

– You said what you said because you were told to? You had it in your contract, right?

– Exactly. So please don’t listen to a single word I’m going to be saying in the nearest future. Just don’t worry. It’s all just pretending. It’s show business.

– I see.

– I guess I gotta go now – he looked at his watch.

– Stay – I grabbed his shirt again. – When you’re not with me, I’m scared.

– Okay. I will stay then. We have work to do tomorrow, not today. I don’t have to go anywhere. I don’t have to hurry. You’re right.

We got up off the floor and went to lie down on the bed. It was already late, and we were tired, so after a while, we just fell asleep in each other’s arms. I have never felt such pleasant warmth before! All night long! It’s good to have friends… But actually… It’s more complicated…

*

A new day came. I slowly lifted my eyelids. What did I see? Emptiness…

– Joe?

I hoped he would answer, but all I heard was silence… “Where are you? You said you wouldn’t leave me alone!” – I thought. Slowly, I began to break apart into millions of pieces. A small single tear broke free and ran down my cheek.

Suddenly, however, my prince ran into the room. And I thought he was gone for good just a second ago…

– Done! I’ve done a trick, and everything is prepared now!

I quickly wiped my tear away and fell into his arms. “I guess this is love…” – flashed through my head…

– What are you talking about? – I asked surprised when I already calmed down a little, but I was still just happy that he returned.

– We’re going to Hawaii together! When we finish shooting the season, I’m taking you with me to the set of Beach & Rocks. I booked a flight and an apartment for two. Now I will always have you with me!

I don’t know how it happened, but he took me in his arms again and lifted me up. Then we started dancing. It was nice until Sam interrupted us again. “Really?!” – I couldn’t believe that there was always someone who had to interrupt us.

– Joe? So early in the morning? Here?

– It’s not what you think!

– That’s not my business. It’s your life, Laura. You’ll have problems later, not me – she put her hands up.

– I won’t have any problems because nothing has happened yet.

– I know what I saw.

I couldn’t stand it and told her to get out! How can you keep saying such stupid things?!

– Wow! Calm down! – the brunet chuckled.

– You’d better not say anything more.

– Why? Is it my fault? – he continued laughing.

I denied it. After that, I hugged him again. After a while, I asked about the even more important matter:

– Who are we to each other now? Has anything changed?

– Ehmm… I don’t think we can be together in such an official way. There would be nothing but problems. It’s fine the way it is, and I don’t want to ruin it.

– What?

– You are important to me, and I’m afraid that I could lose you because of misunderstandings or overzealousness of others. Therefore, I don’t want anything to change in our status. Nobody needs to know about us.

– I don’t understand this… I’m not good enough?

I guessed I found his pressure point because the boy had a problem with the answer. At least that’s what I thought right then… You know… That I’m the problem.

– We’re too different. It will be difficult for us to understand each other just like that. When you love someone, quarrels become more frequent, and our relationship could turn into something toxic. I’m afraid that by changing our status, I could lose you, Lau. I really don’t want it.

– I don’t understand you at all. You talk like a freaking philosopher.

– Oh, it doesn’t matter anymore. We must hurry to get to the set on time.

– No. I’m not coming with you. And I’m not going to Hawaii either. I don’t want to be your secret lover. In addition, why won’t you start dating Eve so formally too, huh? – I started getting really nervous here and lost control of my own words. I sounded like a typical jealous wife, but what could I do?

– What? – the boy was speechless.

– What you heard. It will be the best for both of us. You won’t have any problems as you said before.

– But Laura…

– You should go now – I interrupted him. – I can get to the set by myself. Besides, it would be suspicious if we went there together, as you said earlier.

The boy finally gave up persuading me and obediently left, but stopped for a moment in the doorway:

– You’ll always be important to me – he said.

I closed my eyes. When I opened them, Joe was already gone.

“He treats me like a sister. I’m so stupid…” – it seemed to be the truth to me at that moment… Because how else to explain it? This hesitation? Making excuses? Today, I wouldn’t call it a brother-sister relationship… It was something else that I couldn’t understand yet at that exact time…

*

It was nice and it ended sooner than it started. Yep… Nothing lasts forever in real life. But either way, the rest of the story isn’t as bad as it might seem now. There is always something going on… In the next post, you will see that I’m right. After all, this is my life, and I am grateful for every single tear and little joy. These experiences shape our personalities. Thanks to this, we don’t stand still…

*

P.S. “There’s no lighting

There’s no turning back

There’s no future

Only missing your sound”

*

Alice’s words. What is it about? I’ll explain… There’s no light means there’s no hope. There is no past and no future. There’s just a longing for his voice… After all, Alice and Joe met at the concert, so well…

But let’s go back to the present… I don’t know what will happen to all of us when she’s gone… I’m so afraid of that day… I can’t stand the thought of it… All I can do is pray… She’s smiling even now… At him… Yup, I’m in the hospital corridor right now and I see it all… Despite this tragedy, there is also love in the air… It will be awfully hard to let her go to all of us…

***

Predicting things is like being unaware you already know the story of your life… So, yeah, that’s how I feel about this chapter today. Because I was just sixteen then and I feel like I knew it all very well then. It’s so strange to me, you can’t imagine!

But anyway, I really like this chapter. I think it’s one of the best ones in this novel, honestly. It’s full of everything… How do you like it?

Let me remind you of the possibility of reading the rest of this book in a form of an e-book. But there is also a signed copy waiting for you here! And a very special novel-inspired collection which is discounted now. Use the code “spring30”, and you’ll get 30% off! This code is valid until 31st March.

This code also works for my other books and Spring Collection!

That’s all today. I’ll be back on Wednesday!

Love, A.A.